Trainings Bullies or Wimps
Hi All,I had two responses (that I'm aware of) when I read Rebecca's post. The first was the old SoM apply to self of that's a pretty bullying attitude to have and the second was "Bully for you Rebecca". (What can I say, I like to hold opposite positions at the same time, it is good for flexibility.)
And then John asks for definitions of bullying and I thought now I have to actually think, go inside and give part of myself to this endeavor. I realized (in my model) I could be considered a bully and I get bullied because for me bullying could include attempting to get someone to change their perspective or perception especially if they or I am stuck on my Point of view being the truth/absolute/actuality.
From my POV bully is a label that is applied when something is not going my way, I think I'm being wronged, or I perceive something I own (including my thoughts/belief/identity) is being taken from me without my consent and against my will.
(As I was rereading this before I hit the send button - I realized whatever possessions I have ARE a part of my identity and if someone is taking them away, without consent, I think they are taking away a part of me. If they weren't apart of my identity I wouldn't care if they were taken or not. Good god almighty, Doc John thanks for the fucking great question.)
I also realized that bullying or being bullied come from a victim/villain POV. It comes down to a being at effect vs being at cause thought, belief or identity. I usually can correct the thought easier than I can the belief or identity.
It seems to me when anyone attempts to change my POV or expand my current perception or give me more options and I am comfortable with where I am, I could consider it an assault on or bullying me and I could easily extend the perceived assault to some technique, model or position I have taken in the past and am holding in the present.
Even if I don't perceive it as bullying I will at the minimum take offense, be offended, take it personally-personalize what the other is presenting and not really see if the other person has something to offer. In other words I won't do the drills to get the skills, even if offered because I have already made up my mind that what is being offered has no value, is a rip off or marketing ploy, even if what is being offered comes from someone I respect.
So I guess bullying can have different levels and therefore different consequences. And I guess the magical question is probably one of the best questions to apply regardless of the level the bullying is perceived.
Well, there are some of my fur balls about bullies, I'm not sure I did so well on differences and similarities...
Dr. Houston Vetter
At 03:31 PM 6/24/2005, you wrote:
>
> I certainly wouldn't want my daughter to be a bully or be
bullied. I don't think bullying in any learning enviroment is
conducive to learning, and I think there should be some regulations
on those type of behavior problems. And, thankfully, at her school,
there are. I think that becoming independent, productive and
empowered is something that is an individual's choice as they grow
up, regardless of past experiences.
>
> Rebecca
Hahahaha.
I think we need a "clear" definition of what a bully is...
I think Rebecca is talking about something different, but in her
mind isn't seeing the differences, but only seeing the similaries.
...so group, cough up some fur balls about bullies, bullying, etc.
Pointing out BOTH the differences and the similaries...okay?
Dr. John M. La Tourrette
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posted by Doc Results @ 2:59 PM
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